Sid's Confession

My name is Sid.

I have a confession.

I stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

I know I wasn’t supposed to and that it would ruin my dinner, but I did it anyway. It just looked so good and delectable. How could any sane person resist?

What I think every person seems to fail to realize is that every good cookie needs a good cookie jar. And, every good cookie jar deserves a good cookie thief to steal from the good cookie jar. Are you following me?

I am the good cookie thief.

I steal good cookies from that jar all the time, and it was only recently that my deeds have been discovered. I have been at this job for years and no one ever seemed to realize.

“Why?” you ask?

Simple. It is a coping mechanism. You see, I am blue…depressingly blue. When I come to this realization day after day after day, I just need something that makes me feel normal. Something that brings joy to millions of people…I need that.

I need cookies.

It’s amazing what cookies can do for a person who is blue. I don’t think you realize what effect they can have. I can scarcely imagine what they can do, until I eat another.

Euphoria.

Some might call this an addiction. Some might say that I need help. I disagree.

I just need more cookies.

Think about it for a second. I mean, really stop and think. There is a reason why boys and girls throughout the world go nuts when their teachers bring in cookies for the class. There is a reason why after a hard day at work, the sweet gooey aroma just seems to relax a person.

Cookies have powers that are beyond our comprehension.

So I guess this all begs the question, “What kind of person would deny the power of the cookie to those who might need it most?!”

You might think me a monster for stealing the very thing that can bring such joy to people. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am a monster.

But that label won’t stop me from eating more cookies.

Hello, my name is Sid…

…and I am the Cookie Monster.

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